


Sensory Hell

by dyslexic_as_hex



Category: Captain America (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic!Peter Parker, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Meta, Not!Fic, Peter Parker is so smol, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Rhodey is the sane one, Spoilers, T'Challa is awesome, Tony Stark needs help relating to people, Vision has Good Vibrations, sensory processing disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 02:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6781396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyslexic_as_hex/pseuds/dyslexic_as_hex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Parker has always been different. Sure he was smarter, than most everybody he knew, but that wasn't what people concentrated on. They would never say it was his autism they had problems with. They just liked to complain about how he made life difficult for them. Because he had more sensitive senses, loved stimming, and didn't get why everybody spent so much time on social rituals and small talk when they could be concentrating on their special interests instead. </p><p>He'd mostly learned how to act neuro-typical. And then he got bit by a radioactive spider and joined the Avengers.</p><p>It's all a little bit too much, and he's perfectly justified in having a meltdown. It's just not really how he wanted to get to know the rest of the team. Thankfully, they're actually pretty awesome about the whole thing. And he gets some really neat toys out of the deal.</p><p>*TW for internalized!albeism and sensory triggers, mentions of self-harming stimms"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Headphones don't work on Spider-Senses

**Author's Note:**

> Peter Parker!!!!!! I went into the theater expecting to be annoyed by yet another science genius, able to get his hands on all kinds of advanced tech, magically knows how to sew a perfectly tailored costume Peter Parker. Instead I got an actual teenage, geeky Peter Parker with tech cobbled together from dumpster diving. Who still has the urge to try and fix things, without the ridiculous insistence that as a high school student, he is the only one who knows how to save people. Who hides his powers to protect people, without having a weird martyr complex about how that means he can't ask for help, or explain why he's doing shit. 
> 
> Then he talks about how he made the suit to dampen his senses when they are out of control, and uses basically the same exact explanation as I use when I'm have a day in sensory hell. And now I just want him to be happy, accepted, and supported by people he can actually be both Peter Parker and Spiderman around. People who have advanced tech and help him turn his sensory issues into assets or dampen them down enough for him to be able to tune them out when he wants to. 
> 
> So *drumroll please* I present my very own Autistic Peter Parker head canon. 
> 
> Chapter 1 is going to be the hurt, Chapter 2 will start the comfort and Vision's good vibrations, and Chapter 3 will be new toys and T'challa being awesome.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter deals with all the fun of sensory overload, while living in the Avengers complex.

Don't get Peter wrong, being an Avenger is awesome. Getting the shit beaten out of him in a bad fight sucks, and it's really weird being away from Aunt May, even if it easier not having to explain where he keeps going when a villain attacks. Mr. Stark had a good idea using the excuse of a Stark!Tech summer internship to get him ready for college. It made Aunt May happy and kept her from worrying.

 It's just the whole living in the Avengers complex that's getting to him. There is always, ALWAYS, noise. The hum of the computers Mr. Stark has wired into the walls. The vibrations of all the other Avengers and support staff moving around. Holographic displays that jitter and flicker constantly with his advanced vision. It's been three weeks since he moved into his really overly large suite of rooms and he's not gotten a full night of sleep.

His senses are going haywire, and he's maybe a day or two from a complete meltdown. It's a vicious cycle. He can't get his senses to calm down enough to sleep and the more tired he is the less he can control his senses. He can't even work on anything to distract himself, because every-time he tries to concentrate on a computer display, his vision keeps jumping around trying to pin down where the motion is coming from, even though he KNOWS that it's just a side-effect of the projection mechanisms used to create the holographic effect.

 It's just TOO MUCH! He can't even use his weighted blanket and noise canceling headphones to get a little rest. His new strength means his body can barely feel any increased pressure from the blanket and his sense of hearing is now about 70% tactile sensation, but he's desperate and he just NEEDS TO GET AWAY.

So he grabs his headphones and his blanket and a couple of his favorite stim toys and goes searching for a place where he can set up a web and hopefully get himself under some kind of control. He doesn't want to lose his spot on the team. NORMAL people have always been bad about dealing with his weird senses without even adding in all the superpower stuff. He's not losing everything, because he can't act NORMAL. Not this time.

So he goes crawling all over the compound, until he finds a little used hangar for older models of Quinn-jets. There is barely any tech in the walls and the jets are powered down so there is no relentless buzzing. It's mostly dark, and if he can hear all the weird forest sounds that make his city-boy heart jump, well at least it's not the constant sound of blood rushing through veins, gurgling digestive systems, heart-beats and breathing that makes up most of how he sees other humans. He puts up a web in a corner, wraps himself up in his blanket and puts on his headphones, and tries to pretend that they work like they used to. Please, please, please just let him get more than fifteen minutes of sleep at a time.

#

Tony doesn't realize at first that their youngest Avenger has gone missing. In his defense he's busy. It's been three months since the team broke up and he's still trying to figure out a way to get necessary concessions from the UN council. Even with T'Challa's help and the recordings he'd taken showing that the Raft went against UN policies for prisoner treatment, the council was still dragging its feet about dropping the charges against Rogers for breaking the rest of the team out. Not to mention all the red tape they were throwing up around the idea of giving Wanda US citizenship.

Ross is still being a bastard and stirring up trouble as well. It was a lot to deal with.

So when Peter doesn't show up for his usual shift at the lab, Tony figures there is some Avengers training that he's missed and doesn't think anything of it. Then Friday puts out the alarm that Peter hasn't been back to his suite of rooms in twenty-four hours. The last record she has for him was when he'd used his key-card to leave the main Avengers building.

Which is something he is well within his rights to do, but the logs don't show him leaving the grounds or checking into any of the other buildings. He could have easily used his webs to leave unseen, but why would he? If he wanted to take a break to visit his Aunt all he needed to do was tell somebody, but a quick text to Rhodey and Vision showed that he hadn't talked to either of them.

Fuck. Tony puts his earbud in and orders Friday to connect him to Rhodey and Vision, while he gets into a suit.

"Rhodey, you good to play base in case he checks back in? Vision and I will do a sweep of the facilities and home he didn't get himself mauled by a bear or something."

"Tony, calm down. I'm sure that a super-powered teenager would be able to fight off a bear," Rhodey says, his voice remaining depressingly calm.

Why did he not get that there was reason to panic. "Fine then, what if he ran off on some kind of Super powered bender?"

"Tony, I love you, but sometimes you don't seem to realize that not everybody is you. Peter, is not exactly the type of kid who would go off and use their super-suit to have a wild party."

"I concur, Peter is a very responsible young man. I do not believe he has a reason to attempt to follow your example."

Rhodey lets out a stifled a snort.

Grumbling under his breath, Tony disconnects the call. He needs better friends. Or at least ones that don't know all his faults.

It takes four hours for them to find Peter, and it is mostly sheer luck on Visions' part. After they were unable to find any sign of Peter in the woods surrounding the compound, Vision had begun fazing in and out of the less used buildings. When Tony followed Visions signal to the abandoned Quinn-jet hanger, it still took him a couple minutes to figure out where Peter was. The little nest-web thing Peter had made for himself is mostly hidden by the beams that hold up the roof, hidden in the buildings back corner. Vision was hovering in the middle of the building, well back from the nest itself.

"Is he hurt?" Tony demands. He can't think of any reason for Vision to be staying away from the nest. Not after going to all the trouble they'd gone to finding the kid.

"I do not believe so, but his vitals spiked when I approached. I believe he is in some amount of distress, that is worsened by my proximity."

Illness worsened by proximity to Vision? That doesn't make sense. Tony shoots forward. Only to have Vision grab him and pull him back as soon as he gets close to Peter's hidey-hole. "His vitals spiked again."

"Okay, I get that you are trying to protect him, but if he's having some sort of panic attack we can't just leave him there." Tony yanks his arm away from Vision's grasp.

Visions head tilts to the side, like he was looking through Tony, his gem glowed in the dim light provided by Tony's repulsors and arc reactor. "Perhaps if you were to remove the armor, he would find you less threatening."

Tony looks back towards the web. No way is he getting up there, without the armor to carry him. "Yeah, I don't think that is going to happen. Can you monitor his vitals and see if they keep spiking as I approach or even out?"

"Indeed."

"Kid, Peter, I'm coming over to you, okay. So try not to web me," Tony does his best to keep his voice down to a low buzz rather than the usual booming rattle the suit usually turned it into. "You about gave me a heart-attack when I couldn't find you. Thought you'd been attacked by a moose or something."

Tony keeps up the prattle of speech as he approaches the nest. Taking it slow. Vision doesn't call for him to stop, so Peter's vitals must be holding steady even if they are elevated. Once he gets close enough, he can see over the edge of the next. Peter is a depressingly tiny bundle hidden under a thick lumpy-looking blanket. Tony can just make out the thick loop of headphones, from where blanket doesn't quite cover Peter's whole head. Peter's eyes are open, but they aren't really focusing, they keep jumping around at seemingly random.

"Peter, I need you to tell me what is going on, okay. Cause otherwise I'm going to have to take you to medical. I know how much you hate medical." Tony wants to reach out and move the blanket away from Peter's face, to make sure that Peter is hearing him okay, but he can't turn off the repulsor on his hand if he wants to stay hovering here.

"Too much. So much data." Peter whispers.

 There is no way that he should be able to hear Tony through noise canceling headphones and a blanket. With his faceplate on, and in the dim light there is no way he's reading Tony's lips. Too much data, why is that tickling a memory? Finally he is able to pin it down. It was when he had first recruited Peter to help catch Cap and Barnes. Peter had said that the goggles he wore on his suit helped keep him from being overwhelmed by all the data he was getting. Tony had assumed augmented vision and compensated in the suite design. He'd not even considered that Peter's other senses would be heightened as well.

"Okay, we'll figure this out. I'll find something that keeps you from getting so much data. Just tell me what you need." Peter starts crying, and shit Tony is really bad with kids and crying. Much less the two things at once.

"Can't sleep, can feel your repulsors humming, and the arc reactor. Everything vibrating. Just go away."

"Alright. I'm going to send Vision with some water and food. And I need you to eat it. Then we'll go away for a little bit." Tony backs away slowly, doing his best to keep from powering the repulsors up or down, he'd never really considered the kind of noise they kicked up. It wasn't something he could perceive. Ones he's close enough to Vision, he tilts his head towards the door leading outside. If Peter can hear the repulsors he's going to be able to hear them talking and he doesn’t need that right now.

Once he's pretty sure they are far enough away from the hanger to be out of even Peter's hearing distance he sends the recordings he'd taken of Peter's web to Vision. "What do you think?"

After a long, silent moment of contemplation, Vision replies. "Given what he has said, and the actions he took to mitigate the sensory issues, I do not believe this is a new experience for Peter. He appears to know the basics of what he needs. My guess would be that his powers, have simply exacerbated the issue. The internet assures me that Spiders do not hear as such, but sense the vibrations of sound, through sensory organs that cover much of their body."

Peter is thousands of times bigger than a spider. If those sensory organs covered most of his body. "Fuck!"

"That does seem an appropriate sentiment. I believe that it may be best to allow him to remain in the hanger for now. I will do as you ask and retrieve food and water for him, but I do not believe taking him to medical is advisable.  Wanda often complained of discomfort with the level of noise in the medical wing."

"Yeah, it would probably be pure torture for the kid," And damn-it. If Vision was right and Peter had been dealing with this for a while, that meant he thought he couldn't share these issues with Tony, or any of the other Avengers. So figuring out how to get him to trust them, was going to be something they needed to concentrate on. Why does Tony always forget that not everybody understands him as well as Vision and Rhodey do? "You handle the food, and Rhodey and I will try to figure out what to do about his senses."

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

Maybe Helen Cho will have some ideas. Did they know anybody who specialized in insect based powers? Tony's mind is already running in a million directions. He is going to fix this. He's already lost enough team-mates. He can't handle failing anyone else.


	2. Vision has good Vibrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start in on the comfort. AKA the chapter where Peter finally manages to get some sleep and cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody for their lovely feedback! It means so much to me.

Vision is coming closer again. The teeth grindingly awful buzz that Vision gives off, is scraping against every nerve Peter has. Cutting right through the little bubble of calm he's managed to gather around himself. A whimper escapes, and he's clawing at his ears, hard enough to knock away his headphones.

He KNOWS that the sound isn't really coming from his ears, but it's an old coping mechanism and one he hasn't bothered to try and over-write since his senses have gotten worse. It's not like it would be better if he clawed at his whole body instead.

The buzzing gets closer, and his STUPID super-strength means that he's no longer just digging into the skin around his ears. He's actually managed to scratch through part of his skin, letting out a trickle of blood. Vision is still getting closer, the vibrations setting off every flight instinct Peter has. He wants to scramble out of his web and try to run away, but there is NO WAY Vision is actually going to let him run off. Peter has spider strength and senses. Vision can faze through walls.

Better to go with his second instinct instead. Freeze, and hope the big scary thing making all the nasty vibrations goes away. And okay, he knows that isn't going to work any better, but he's definitely not up for trying to fight. Forcing his fingers away from his ears, he starts digging his teeth into his knuckles instead. Anything to give him enough pain that he can ignore his senses.

Vision stops coming closer. The buzzing is still there, but the fact that it's not getting any closer is enough to give Peter some breathing room, to find something besides pain to concentrate on. He can do this. He's managed to drown out Visions presence before. Never when he was feeling this run down, and admittedly a lot of his coping involved running away as quickly as he could.

The buzzing becomes higher-pitched. Peter yanks his fingers away from his mouth and curls up tighter, using his forearms to block his ears. The buzzing changes again, until it finally settled into a pitch so low he just gets the vibrations off of it, without being able to really hear it. It is like back before the spider bite, when he'd found the perfect song, and Aunt May wasn't home so he could sit in a circle made up of scavenged speakers, and just feel the bass vibrating through his body.

He uncurls with a gasp, only now realizing he'd been holding his breath. The vibration is just SO PERFECT. God, how long had it been since he could just use sound to drown everything else out? Nearly a year since the bite.

"I am sorry, that my nanites resonance frequency was causing you such distress." The voice is virtually inaudible, but he can feel it in his skin. Different rates of vibration.

Swallowing, he forces himself to speak. Knowing it won't be the same soothing, not sound. "Didn't know you could change it."

"Neither did I," He floats closer, and now that Peter isn't buried under his weighted blanket, he can see that Vision is carrying a plate and glass, "I am not sure how long I will be able to maintain the change, but I will make sure I am out of range, before they change back. It was quite distressing seeing you react so negatively to my presence."

Peter tries to figure out the best way to get the food from Vision.

"If you are comfortable with my current vibrations, perhaps you could expand your web so that I can have a place to sit down. Then you can eat. Friday informs me that you have not eaten enough to sustain yourself for nearly a week."

Peter concentrates on expanding the web to avoid looking at Vision. He's bracing for the inevitable 'If you just took care of yourself better, you wouldn't have these sensory issues' speech.

It doesn't come. Once he has a place to sit, Vision slowly rests his weight on the web, like he is afraid it will give way. He must decide the web is safe, because he eventually settles completely. Using an area of web between them he lays out the plate of food covered in aluminum foil and a couple bottles of water and various brightly colored sports drinks. "I asked Friday for a list of you preferred food items, but her data did not show any particular favorites. Research on foods enjoyed by those with sensory issues, showed a large variation, and I was unable to extrapolate any usable data."

That is actually really sweet. Peter doesn't remember anybody ever researching the side-effects of his sensory issues that thoroughly before. Not even Harry and MJ who have known him for most of their lives. He should probably say thank you, or something. He's still contemplating how to force the words out when Vision goes on.

"As I am a poor cook I decided to go with something simple." He lifts the foil away and the distinct smell of cheese fills the air. "Macaroni and Cheese is considered a comfort food by a large portion of Americans who grew up in lower income situations after the second world war. It is also very simple to make correctly."

A little cup that is balanced at the edge of the plate of pasta. When Peter looks it is full of pickled jalapeño slices. Now that he is concentrating, he can smell the vinegar and spice. His stomach growls.

"My research did show that spiders lack a traditional sense of taste. Those with hyposensitivity often prefer a higher level of spice. As I do not eat, I was unsure what would be best, and felt that allowing you the option to make your own choice would be most advisable."

Peter's fingers twitch. He wants to grab the peppers, but he's not sure about the macaroni and cheese. Vision isn't wrong about the macaroni and cheese being a comfort food, but Peter can't tell by looking at it if the texture will be right. All of Tony's food is usually that high-brow stuff where they use goat-cheese and shit. Peter's eyes skitter back and forth from the plate to Vision's face, trying to read Vision's expression. Which is of course hopeless since the android rarely emotes.

Can he get away with taking he peppers, and telling Vision that he'll eat the macaroni later? Will Vision get mad? Has he waited too long to make himself say thank you? The urge to curl back up under the blanket and ignore everything is coming back. He's not prepared to make all these decisions. And he's not prepared to try and force his thoughts into a single stream of speech. His eyes starts stinging and now he's been staring at the FUCKING macaroni and cheese for ages so Vision will definitely expect him to eat it.

Only… he doesn't. Vision pulls the plate out of Peter's line of sight and begins wrapping it in foil. No explanation needed. "If you decide you want to eat it, you simply need to inform me. If I leave it uncovered for long, it will become cold." No anger, he doesn't even seem insulted that he went to all the work of making the food and Peter still didn't eat it.

Maybe he won't get upset if Peter just asks for the peppers. Come on it's just it's just six words. He can make himself do this. Normally he's really good at being verbal. CONCENTRATE. "Peppers?" he manages, already cringing from the upcoming reprimand about asking for things politely.

Instead Vision peels the edge of the foil away and pulls out the dish of pickles, handing them to Peter. Watching without comment as Peter uses his fingers to fish out a few slices and stuff them into his mouth. The burn and the sourness of the vinegar is perfect, prompting Peter to let out a gusty sigh of pleasure.

Vision sits there, quietly, still giving off that same comforting buzz until Peter finishes all of the peppers. "I must insist that you have something to drink. If nothing I have brought suits I will go back to the compound and find something that does, but you have been missing for over twenty-four hours and Friday says that you didn't bring any food or drinks with you."

FUCK, he hadn't realized he'd been gone for that long. His phone had lost juice after the first eight hours and he didn't have the best sense of time, even when he wasn't having a melt-down. No wonder Vision and Tony had come looking for him. Much as he didn't want to have to deal with the taste of any of the sports drinks Vision had brought, he's only left his web to take a bathroom break once since he's been here and twenty four hours is a long time to go without anything to drink. He finds a bottle of lukewarm water under the various brightly colored sports drinks. Which EWWW, but at least it's better than tasting all the weird flavors people seem to think taste like strawberries and purple rain.

Once he starts drinking, the thirst he hadn't even noticed kicks in and he's chugging it fast enough he can mostly ignore the weird plastic taste bottled water always has.  "Thanks." He finally manages once he's done. More than single words is still more than he can handle, but Vision still doesn't seemed bothered by his weirdness.

"You are most welcome. I am glad to see you were able to drink something." He gathers up the rest of the bottles and puts them over with the plate of macaroni and cheese. "I will leave you to get some rest. Is there anything you would like me to bring for you to eat?"

Peter doesn't really want Vision to leave, though. The feel of his deep vibration, gives Peter something to concentrate that drowned out even the quiet vibrations from the woods outside the hanger. It is like the best kind of silence. Of course Vision doesn't know that. Because people never get what the whole sensory thing was. Not unless they actually felt it for themselves.

He NEEDS to be cool. Act normal. Let Vision go. He CAN DO THIS. Only he can't. Then Vision gets far enough away to let the other vibrations come trickling back in. He's webbing Vision's arm before he can muster up the control to stop himself. He doesn't tug on the web, or try and make Vision come back. At least he has enough control to stop himself from doing that.

Still, Vision must get the point anyway, because he only goes far enough away to drop off the plate and bottles by the hangar's door before he comes back to Peter's web. "Do you wish me to keep watch while you sleep?"

And OF COURSE that is where Vision's brain goes when Peter wants him to stay close. Vision has been living with a super-hero team for his entire life. He's probably done all kinds research on PTSD and everything. It would be EASY to let Vision think that was all that was going on. Only he doesn't want Vision sitting there watching him sleep. Explaining everything still requires more spoons than he currently has.

He reaches for Vision and tugs gently on his arm. Praying he'll be cool with letting Peter touch him. He's been so good about everything else, and it's not like he really gets the neurotypical RULES FOR PROPER BEHAVIOR either.

He lets Peter lay him down on the web and curl up on top of him, spreading the weighted blanket over both of them. That lovely bass vibration is all around him, drowning out everything and he's falling asleep without even having to think about it.

#

An alert pops up on the computer Tony is working on. It's from Visions ID, so Tony lets himself be distracted from the vibration dampening cloth he's trying to design.

"I will be remaining with Peter in hanger while he gets some rest. He drank some water and ate a little. I do not believe he is sick, merely exhausted and overwhelmed. Will keep you informed."

Well that is a relief at least. Tony hadn't been looking forward to Aunt May how they had let Peter get sick. Or why that sickness had resulted in super-senses.

Now he just had to figure out a way to mute Peter's senses enough that he wouldn't become this run-down again.


End file.
